This is how Cyber Sex Chat is done - Meet Bloodninja.

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Jdogg: You're wet already. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses? Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt.

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For those who havent, omg, just read this block of text, i swear if you have a sense of humor.... I posted some in a diff thread, but i figured instead of hi jacking, id make a new thread... What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you... Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I want you so badly. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my... Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Im bearing to go! SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like? SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly I. SexyKarla17: what the fuck? You wanna cyber or not? I just didnt know why you were wet... I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest I. Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women... J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr. Partner8: Who the fuck are you? J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion: J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me. J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever. Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me? J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh. Partner8: Is that like cancer? J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy. Partner8: Good one romeo. J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku. The salmon swim at night. The snow and the moon. Partner8: that was never a haiku. J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness. Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent. QT-Pie: what does that mean? Jdogg: what are you wearing? Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not? Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here. Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan. Jdogg: You leave everything to Jdogg. Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play. QT-Pie: This is weird. Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back. Jdogg: I need a sandwich. QT-Pie: You're a freak. Jdogg: I was great. Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough. Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty. Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good. Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Sarah19fca: you like that? Bloodninja: I peel some bananas. Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Sarah19fca: What are you talking about? Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Sarah19fca: This is stupid. Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;- DirtyKate: Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate: I want everything, baby! Bloodninja: Is this a delivery? Yes DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja: How did you know? Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate: What the fuck? DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit DirtyKate: Fuck ------------------ Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables? Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit? MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that. Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains. MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT. Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja. Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. Bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece. Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass. Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. Bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now. Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja. Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. Bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece. Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. Bloodninja: A someone I know? Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid sweet17: paranoid? Bloodninja: yes sweet17: of what? Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states sweet17: For??? Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing. Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey. Bloodninja: Send me your picture. Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them. Bloodninja: Are you there? Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities. Bloodninja: Then send me the picture. Bloodninja: Just send it through here. Bloodninja: I hope so sweet17: what?!? I'm not that much smaller than that now. Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't! Bloodninja: How the hell do you know? Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake. Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops. Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries. Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? Bloodninja: Why would I do that? Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs. Bloodninja: Wanna start over? Bloodninja: You heard me. Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty. Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways. Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know? You call me fat. Bloodninja: Nope sweet17: well its strange to me Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to sweet17: I didn't say that Bloodninja: So is that a yes? I need your help getting excited though. Bloodninja: Are you willing? Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate. Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... Bloodninja: It's my fantasy. Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me? Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty. Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke. Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth. Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: this is stupid Bloodninja:... Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. Bloodninja: They stink really bad. Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass. Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Bloodninja: I kick you in the face! Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away. Whats wrong with it? You think I'm hot? I just don't like my looks cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh? You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me cheesedog: Why not? I think you're beautiful on the inside. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons. BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL... You're ruining my fantasy! Where do they live? I wanna know what an albino looks like. I don't know what you look like. Then I'll sex you up. Just shoes cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now? Slow down cowboy cheesedog: Why? Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!! Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass. It was your hand, you scary, white whore! You're trapped, I said.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes. Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops. Boy: I had sex with a gusto. In the main profile picture Subgirl is 42 years old and is plunging into the camera, her deep blue eyes disturbingly engaging. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt.